Props and scenery and all that sort of stuff.

Another ( yet another ) thing I love about this line of work is the utterly, utterly daft nature of the enterprise.

Just so you know, we have no scenery, no costumes ( I mean, no-one's going naked, I hope,  but the cast are turning up in their own clothes ), no music, and are turning up for the show with a plastic jar from the Chino around the corner, a couple of newspapers, a bottle of Murphy's ( empty ), a pair of headphones, a mobile phone, a jiffy bag, a couple of Irish fright wigs and an inflatable plastic green-white-and-orange hammer. A terrible beauty is born, to be sure.

With this collection of refuse, we're supposed to build Dublin Airport, the bar in Charles de Gaulle, a flat with a balcony in Hamburg, and the Stade de France during a World Cup play-off. It's going to be like one of those challenge-the-celebrity reality shows, only without the celebrities. Eimear, James, John, Jackie and Javier ( tempted to call them the J-team ) will be working for their money. Just as well really, since we're not paying them.

The whole set-up has enabled me to gradually scale the pecking order in the production. I started off directing/producing the thing. Now I get to do a turn right at the beginning, you'll enjoy my so-called "voice"  destroying the millenial Irish folk tradition after the interval ( at least, you will if you don't bugger off at half-time ), and I'm sneaking on the back towards the end as well.

On a more serious note, we get mileage out of that heap of junk : in particular, I'm quietly pleased with how much work the phone and the headphones put in. And part of the fun of coming to the show will be to see how we do the Stade de France bit.

Sofi just came in and said "Oh my God. This is getting worse. Who's wearing THAT hat ?"

You can probably tell how much I'm enjoying this : )

Curtain would go up on Friday week, in 8 days' time. If we had a curtain.