( From Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Philosopher-Wolf-Lessons-Happiness/dp/1847081029/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330885888&sr=8-1 )
Here he is reflecting on the different forms of memory : he distinguishes episodic, day-to-day memory, the type that fades with time, and a deeper form of memory that he's describing here, " a past that has written itself on you, in your character and in the life on which you bring that character to bear. "
"It is in our lives and not, fundamentally, in our conscious experiences that we find the memories of those who are gone. Our consciousness is fickle and not worthy of the task of remembering. The most important way of remembering someone is by being the person they made us - at least in part - and living the life they have helped shape.... being someone they have helped fashion and living a life they have helped forge are not only how we remember them; they are how we honour them."
That second sentence is fascinating : at first it seems ridiculous - can my consciousness, the part I usually think of as "me", really be so unimportant ? But it chimes with lots of otherwise unconnected stuff I'm thinking about at the moment, including persuading some of my teachers that they are the least important people in their classroom ( might be a stretch ). And it does fit in with one of life's deeper experiences : certainly, whatever good qualities I think I possess ( and I'm no self-hater here ), I'm fairly sure that the people in my life who've loved me deeply have done so in spite of who I think I am, and not because of it - because that's what love is, I suspect.
